Brains - I think mine was from Abby Normal

I find that my brain is a very strange entity. It jabbers at me all the time, hounding with me idiotic observations and non sequiturs (the other day I was in the shower and all of a sudden my brain said to me "James Fenimore Cooper!" I had no clue who he was. I was thinking maybe a president from another century. I looked him up once I got to work. Turns out he wrote a bunch of books that I've heard of but never read. My search on him did lead me to a rather scathing and funny essay about him by Mark Twain, though, so that was cool) and I normally have to have music playing all the time just to keep my brain from repeating one line from the last song I heard over and over again - I'm pathetically prone to earworms. I think iPods are one of the best things ever - I can have music everywhere! All the time! And it has the added benefit of keeping me from having to participate in those annoying casual social niceties that we all come across in day to day life (I particularly enjoyed pretending that I couldn't hear the various charity collectors during the holidays; I couldn't hear them so therefore they ceased to exist).

But the really annoying thing about my brain is that it gives me the most wonderful stories and ideas and fantastical images, and then when I sit down to write it all out, to build it into an actual living world...that's when it shuts up, creeps off into a corner, and snickers quietly to itself. I've tried to beat it into submission with wine and various reality altering substances but it seems immune to my machinations.

How the hell do I get my brain to behave and do what I want it to, when I want it to?