Damnsle Inthis-Dress

poety, rants, and self-loathing self-acceptance...what could be more fun difficult annoying ridiculous outrageous?

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Je pense, donc je doute. Je suis. Je pense.

Friday, July 03, 2009

People I Don't Trust

(in no particular order)


• Anyone who voted for W twice (first time I can understand; second time is unforgivable).
• Anyone who refuses to eat more than two small slices of pizza.
• Anyone whose teeth are unnaturally white.
• Anyone who spends more time at the gym than at the playground.
• Anyone who thinks Sacha Boran Cohen is funny.
• Anyone who claims to have never been drunk.
• Anyone who refuses to be seen without makeup.
• Anyone who offers to pray for someone with whom they are angry rather than saying “FUCK YOU”.
• Anyone who thinks stem cell research is bad. (I mean, really?)
• Anyone who thinks anti-choice people are only concerned about the “babies”.
• Anyone who looks to MTV for trends to follow.
• Anyone who thinks WW is a “Lifestyle Change” and not a diet.
• Anyone who thinks diets work.
• Anyone who reads that last one and thinks “But my diet really did. It just takes…”
• Anyone who thinks calories in = calories out (or that losing weight equates it with the Law of Conservation).
• Anyone who thinks thin women are all anorexic, bulimic or have an eating disorder.
• Anyone who thinks eating disorders are good.
• Anyone who can say the store name “Menard’s” and not giggle.
• Anyone who doesn’t like Dr. Seuss.
• Anyone who is not enchanted by books.
• Anyone who thinks torture is justifiable.
• Anyone who doesn’t laugh at baby giggles.
• I haven’t really been a fan since the ‘80’s, but I’m very sad, and still shocked that Michael Jackson died.
• Anyone who thinks “reality TV” is real. Or even worse, great entertainment.
• Anyone who thinks that magic is impossible.
• Anyone who thinks David Blaine is magic. (Most. Boring. Magician. Ever.)
• CHEEZ-IT’s!!!! Love ‘em!!!!!
• Anyone who thinks global warming is a myth. (again, really?)
• Anyone who throws their co-workers under the bus to advance their own career.
• Halliburton.
• Anyone who thinks skinny people are healthy and fat people are unhealthy, simply by looking at their bodies.
• Anyone who engages in sizeism.
• Anyone who thinks racism no longer exists in this country.
• Anyone who thinks feminism is outmoded or is no longer needed.
• Anyone who thinks sexism no longer exists.
• Anyone who thinks “reverse sexism” is a problem.
• Anyone who doesn’t thinks computers and the internet are the Greatest. Things. Evar!
• Anyone who doesn’t like red wine. I’m sorry, you’re just weird.
• Anyone who thinks weird or abnormal is “bad” (yes, I just contradicted myself. In a way. BUT IT’S DIFFERENT!)
• Anyone who thinks this list is definitive. Because it’s not. More later…

4 Comments:

Blogger Lanie Painie said...

I had to laugh out loud at the randomness of "Cheez-its" and your love for them in the middle of a "people I don't trust" list.

15/7/09 08:18  
Blogger damnsle said...

The door to my pantry was open and I saw the box. It inspired me.

15/7/09 18:33  
Blogger not undecided said...

Nice - I love this!

30/7/09 11:08  
Blogger damnsle said...

Thanks :-)

30/7/09 19:32  

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