Damnsle Inthis-Dress

poety, rants, and self-loathing self-acceptance...what could be more fun difficult annoying ridiculous outrageous?

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Location: NW OH

Je pense, donc je doute. Je suis. Je pense.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

God never says anything back either...

Again, it's been awhile since I've posted, but I guess that doesn't really matter since no one reads this blog except Mom and me. And even then I usually bore the shit out of us, but I guess that's ok since at least one of us loves me anyway. Usually. I won't tell you which one, just to keep the mystery alive.
I've been having a lot of stress and unusual amounts of jealousy coursing through me lately. I have this person in my life who has started doing something that I've always wanted to do, and prided myself on being able to do (If, you know, I wanted to) but have never actually done because I'm a fucking pussy, and they are doing it well. Better than well, they are fucking great. And it makes me feel like I'm being robbed of something that I never had a chance to have. That makes no fucking sense, but I still feel that way. Like my one chance at happiness has been stolen by my best friend, and because they have no idea how I feel because I won't talk, they are thrilled about what they've done and want to share it with me. What the fuck do you do then? They haven't actually done anything wrong, yet I still want them to fall down a steep hill that has been used for years by wasted teenagers as a place to smash glass bottles. Oh the Bactine you'd need after that trip.
Anyway, I'm going to be writing a lot more self-pitying melodramatic crap than usual from now on, and I just wanted to post a warning first. I'm caring like that.

Everyone in the world can go fuck themselves.

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