What the Hell Were They Thinking?

I've always thought of South Dakota as a fairly innocuous, inoffensive state that maybe had a weird thing for big heads. That is, when I even thought of the state at all (read: never.) But now, whoo boy! What the hell have they gone and done? The governor of South Dakota (state motto: “Slightly Warmer Than North Dakota!”) has actually signed a bill banning almost all abortion rights. The only time, apparently, that it’s ok for a woman to terminate a pregnancy by choice is if her very survival is at stake, and even then only if the doctors have expended heroic efforts to save the baby first. I’m really hoping that this is actually a back door, sneaky ploy by the governor of South Dakota (personal motto: “Everyone Please Stop Looking At Me.”) to avoid the slow erosion of abortion rights though the gradual introduction of seemingly less-offensive legislation (i.e., waiting periods, parental notification requirements, requirements of Witnessing to the pregnant woman prior to giving her any abortion education or information, etc.) by banning those rights altogether in one fell swoop, thereby all but guaranteeing an appeal will be made by (hopefully) several different groups. The Supreme Court will then have to step in and overturn the law as unconstitutional, in the process reinforcing Roe v. Wade, which will then make him a hero in the annals of women’s rights. But some niggling feeling in the back of my mind makes me think that’s not what his plan is. I think that this is just what it appears to be: A front door, sneaky ploy to erode women’s right to have an abortion in favor of some people’s religious leanings.

Now, I know nothing about the governor of South Dakota (alternative personal motto: “If We Can’t Convert Them To Christianity, We’ll Pass Legislation That Makes Them Have To Adhere To Our Ideas Of Morality Anyway.”) not even his name. Nor do I really care to know anything about him; he is apparently a twit. But it seems to me that signing this bill into law is quite possibly as asinine a political move as when Orville Faubus symbolically (or not so symbolically; Faubus’s personal motto: “Subtlety Is For Pussies”) stood in the way of desegregation when he tried to prevent the Little Rock Nine from entering the previously all white high school. Hopefully, this move will prove just as beneficial to the career of the governor of South Dakota (alternative state motto: “We Finally Get To Say We Did Something Before North Dakota!”) as it did for that long ago governor of Arkansas. Everyone remembers what happened when tried to stop the admission of those nine kids into the school, but who the hell remembers him? I had to google the incident in Little Rock to get the guy’s name because, for the life of me, I couldn’t remember it. And then I had to google his name to be sure it was right. I mean, come on. Orville Faubus? Someone’s having me on, right?

Hopefully someday the governor of South Dakota (alternative motto for both: “We Did It To Be Known For Something Other Than The Big Heads.”) will be as nameless and forgotten as good ‘ol Orville Faubus; completely overshadowed by the events unleashed by his misconceived notion to try to take away the rights of individuals for political gain. And, in this case, the unconstitutional attempt to legislate religious opinions.

My motto? “I Really Like Long And Rambling Mottos. Although Mine Is Comparatively Short. At Least It Started That Way. But Then It Just Kept Going. Dear God, Make It Stop, Make It Stop!!!”

More later, for I've only just begun to rant on this subject.