I wanna get drunk and eat cheese.
Yeah, that's pretty much about it. I love a nice brie and a good cabernet souvignon. Other than that...eh.
posted by damnsle | 11:38 PM
Damnsle Inthis-Dress
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8 Comments:
Don't listen to the Frenchy. He's a pill head like my old pal McDougal. I think they might have actually served together in the French Revolution.
Just look at him -- seething with French arrogance.
But that's weird ... I didn't know the French were pukers.
I've known Christophe for seven years.
Here's a dirty little secret.
He's not really French. Actually "french canadian."
We don't even capitalize that in these parts.
Actually, getting drunk and eating cheese usually does lead to puking. That's why most French women are thin - binging and purging is like their national sport.
I don't know what goes on with the french Canadians (split the difference on the capitalization). I've never actually met one, so I don't fully believe in their existence.
I keep a French Indian in my pantry. Been there since the French Indian war.
He's part cherokee and part Albert Camus.
He smokes 13 packs of cigarettes and drinks a gallon of rot gut vodka every day.
Every time I go to check on him, he spits in my face and cries about nothing -- I don't mean there is no reason for him to cry, I mean the thing he cries about is that thing called "nothing"
I forgot to add the disclaimer at the bottom of the previous comment.
Should say:
(As dictated to Red Cross volunteer Anne Marie)
Thoughthat is not my name and I do not work for thw red cross, that is what McDougal makes me sign when he dictates his letters to me because he can't type
oh god please help me
Damnsle's not my real name either. Shocking, I know, but I'm radical like that.
And I don't think god can help anyone right now. He's too busy fucking with the world leaders by whispering in their ears that he's on their side, then just sitting back and laughing at the ensuing hilarity:
“George! Psst! Hey, George! Yeah, it’s Me. Just wanted to let you know that I’m behind you 100%! Wipe those motherfuckers out, or at least, you know, convert them. Evangelism rules!”
“Psst! Omar! Hey, it’s Me. Yeah, spread it among all the Imams, I’m on your side! Death to the infidels! Oh, and hey, go ahead and raise the price of oil again. I’m sending a storm cloud to hover over the Hoover damn for awhile, so you’ll be justified. Islam rules!”
god is a laugh riot.
Seriously, do you talk to God? That motherfucker owes me some serious $$$.
I mean, I got skills to pay the bills, but I had a few bets that didn't exactly work out in the Old Man's favor.
I thought he won that bet that Job would turn against him that you two had going on.
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