I wanna get drunk and eat cheese.

Yeah, that's pretty much about it. I love a nice brie and a good cabernet souvignon. Other than that...eh.

Horny much?

Now I wish I was the shiny girl from The Killers "Mr. Brightside" video, which is right before the woodland creatures on PCP video of Jet's "Look What You've Done" on VOD. I want to be a shiny girl in a darkly glittering hot frost covered dream, with dark bits creeping out from the corners, mysterious and skulky in a filthy gorgeous world. I want to be sexy moody in a slumpy see-through whimper of a gown, being wanted lusted desired hoped hopped and hyped. I want to shoot a look of blue ice over my shoulder that will still a man's heart with overwhelming knowledge that he has never known love because he has never known me. I want to glow with untouchable ethereal majesty that inspires the basest most animalistic and glorious longing for sex, just sex and sex without the merest hint of a whisper of desire for procreation, just fucking in the glowing darkness of solid hard lust. I want to dance with black holes about my head and stars bowing at my feet, witless and faithless to all that is good for me and light, unheeding and dismissive of pleas for a return to the dry and barren reality of now. I want to feel eyes on me, unwavering unwilling unable to turn away, hard and bright with thoughts of how my body would bend under theirs, how my flesh would feel under theirs, how my wetness would quench their thirst. I want my mind to thrum with the music of bodies slaking each other, thighs grasping each other, chests smashing each other, hips rocking together, fingers grasping one another, mouths finding purchase on every surface, hearts hunting forever in music that is ceaseless and merciless and loving beyond all sensation. I want to be a shiny girl in a dark world where lust can be love and love can be intertwined with hate to bring back hope, and every desire is fulfilled in the shadows of luxurious decadence in my heart.

I Shall

I can ache with despondency:
my limbs hanging motionless
as dead weights pulling me down.
I can be immobile with tears:
acidic emotion coursing over my face
etching tracks into my skin.
I can reach for you continuously:
my fingers stretching out to the sky
pulling back with naught but My dreams.
I can laugh and rollick and ignore the pain:
my life spread out before me like a lover
begging to be taken.
I can revel and dance in my glory:
cavorting, twisting and shining
in multiple paroxysms of living.
I can raise myself up.
I can raise myself up:
I can raise myself up
as stars that consume themselves in ecstasies of fire.

Because it’s not finished still.

What the Hell Were They Thinking?

I've always thought of South Dakota as a fairly innocuous, inoffensive state that maybe had a weird thing for big heads. That is, when I even thought of the state at all (read: never.) But now, whoo boy! What the hell have they gone and done? The governor of South Dakota (state motto: “Slightly Warmer Than North Dakota!”) has actually signed a bill banning almost all abortion rights. The only time, apparently, that it’s ok for a woman to terminate a pregnancy by choice is if her very survival is at stake, and even then only if the doctors have expended heroic efforts to save the baby first. I’m really hoping that this is actually a back door, sneaky ploy by the governor of South Dakota (personal motto: “Everyone Please Stop Looking At Me.”) to avoid the slow erosion of abortion rights though the gradual introduction of seemingly less-offensive legislation (i.e., waiting periods, parental notification requirements, requirements of Witnessing to the pregnant woman prior to giving her any abortion education or information, etc.) by banning those rights altogether in one fell swoop, thereby all but guaranteeing an appeal will be made by (hopefully) several different groups. The Supreme Court will then have to step in and overturn the law as unconstitutional, in the process reinforcing Roe v. Wade, which will then make him a hero in the annals of women’s rights. But some niggling feeling in the back of my mind makes me think that’s not what his plan is. I think that this is just what it appears to be: A front door, sneaky ploy to erode women’s right to have an abortion in favor of some people’s religious leanings.

Now, I know nothing about the governor of South Dakota (alternative personal motto: “If We Can’t Convert Them To Christianity, We’ll Pass Legislation That Makes Them Have To Adhere To Our Ideas Of Morality Anyway.”) not even his name. Nor do I really care to know anything about him; he is apparently a twit. But it seems to me that signing this bill into law is quite possibly as asinine a political move as when Orville Faubus symbolically (or not so symbolically; Faubus’s personal motto: “Subtlety Is For Pussies”) stood in the way of desegregation when he tried to prevent the Little Rock Nine from entering the previously all white high school. Hopefully, this move will prove just as beneficial to the career of the governor of South Dakota (alternative state motto: “We Finally Get To Say We Did Something Before North Dakota!”) as it did for that long ago governor of Arkansas. Everyone remembers what happened when tried to stop the admission of those nine kids into the school, but who the hell remembers him? I had to google the incident in Little Rock to get the guy’s name because, for the life of me, I couldn’t remember it. And then I had to google his name to be sure it was right. I mean, come on. Orville Faubus? Someone’s having me on, right?

Hopefully someday the governor of South Dakota (alternative motto for both: “We Did It To Be Known For Something Other Than The Big Heads.”) will be as nameless and forgotten as good ‘ol Orville Faubus; completely overshadowed by the events unleashed by his misconceived notion to try to take away the rights of individuals for political gain. And, in this case, the unconstitutional attempt to legislate religious opinions.

My motto? “I Really Like Long And Rambling Mottos. Although Mine Is Comparatively Short. At Least It Started That Way. But Then It Just Kept Going. Dear God, Make It Stop, Make It Stop!!!”

More later, for I've only just begun to rant on this subject.